Christmas Mugs
by PETIT MONSIEUR
Summary: It's Christmas Eve in Midgar, and all Cloud wanted was a cup of hot cocoa. If only they'd stop getting stolen from him. Idiot SOLDIERs. Early Christmas fic.


**Christmas Mugs**

**I had Christmas on my mind today, and while I was drinking hot cocoa in my Santa stylized mug, this idea came up. Hope you enjoy!**

**Warnings: Uses of poison, bad humor, and a horrible ending is inside of this story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII. To quote another writer "I don't own these characters, I'm just abusing them."**

* * *

><p>The maniacal beeping of the microwave signaled that Cloud's hot cocoa was done warming up. It was snowing faintly in Midgar; the snow barely sticking to the ground. Children were outside in abundance, dancing and laughing in the early snow while the adults stayed indoors to prepare a nice warm meal for their kids. All of ShinRa's SOLDIERs and Turks were having their rare day off on this day; five friends strangely relaxing for once.<p>

Cloud is one of those five friends, and the other four were inside their rooms, doing mundane activities. Genesis was reading _Loveless_ while complaining about the bitter cold, Sephiroth was blankly staring at his ceiling since he didn't know much about relaxation, Angeal was polishing the Buster Sword, and Zack was…being Zack.

Cloud went over to the microwave and pulled it open to retrieve his hot cocoa. It was inside a cup with the face of Santa Claus, and it made Cloud feel faintly creepy to drink from a cup shaped like a face. He retreated to the couch in the living room, a coaster in his other hand. Cloud was just about to sip from the cup, when all of a sudden it was stolen from him. Cloud only got a drop of hot chocolate.

"Thanks for the cocoa, Chocobo!" Zack exclaimed while he sipped the cocoa. Actually, "sipped" wouldn't be appropriate as Zack drank it like it was a shot of whiskey. Strangely, the heat of the cocoa didn't seem to faze Zack.

"Didn't you burn your tongue?"

"Nope! Advantages of being a SOLDIER!" It seemed as if Zack was a little hyper from the sugar of the hot cocoa. He was bouncing up and down with endless spouts of enthusiasm, but then Cloud realized that Zack was like that all the time. Smiling from the cocoa, Zack walked out of the door after getting a sweater and yelling out a quick thanks to Cloud.

"Where the hell are you going? You owe me some cocoa!"

"Meeting with Aeris! I promised to go out on a date with her!" If Zack had a tail it would've been wagging.

As Zack ran out of the building, Cloud couldn't help but say, "That guy's whipped…" before heading to the kitchen to make another cup of hot cocoa. As an afterthought, Cloud took out another cup just in case someone decided to go downstairs and steal Cloud's cocoa…again. While he waited for the water in the cups to warm-up in the microwave, Cloud grabbed out the cocoa powder and two teaspoons. Deciding he wanted something to make the hot cocoa's taste more delightful, grabbed two candy canes from the pantry in the dining room. Cloud's cups of cocoa ended up finishing warming up while he grabbed the extra ingredients, and he gracefully took out the cups from the microwave.

When he was finally finished making the hot cocoa, Cloud heard the tell-tale pounding of someone coming down the stairs. Cloud didn't care though, he was prepared. Cloud would get to drink this cup of hot cocoa no problem. No problem at all indeed.

Just when the cup of hot cocoa was just about to touch his lips, it was stolen from him…in a flash of red.

"GENESIS! GET THE OTHER CUP!"

"_She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting_," Genesis said while pointedly ignoring Cloud, "but would that mean you're actually a girl, Cloud?" He asked when he finally acknowledged the other's presence. Cloud also noticed that Angeal was behind Genesis, the man's large hands filled with the small cup. Cloud also noticed that Genesis's hand was slightly red, and the cup he was holding was getting warmer and warmer from a low leveled fire spell.

"_So that's where the other cup went."_ Cloud thought before saying out loud, "What do you mean I'm a girl?"

"You guided us to bliss with your hot chocolate. Your gift is everlasting as you can always make more of it, and…you do have the figure of a girl. Perhaps…"

"Don't finish that sentence…"

"Perhaps, _Loveless_ got the gender wrong. There, nothing insulting in my explanation towards you whatsoever." Cloud's eye twitched just a bit as he listened to Genesis's offended tone. If anything he was the one who should be offended. _Genesis_ never had to deal with anyone thinking he was feminine (perhaps it is because of his tendency to throw fireballs). No, they had to tell poor fluffy Cloud that he was feminine. Heck, even the writer(s) are against him! So what if he dressed like a girl that one time? It was to save a friend! As if reading Cloud's thoughts, Genesis said, "Well you _did_ fool hundreds of men _and_ women."

"Just go and enjoy the hot cocoa outside," as an afterthought Cloud added, "please." Genesis just shrugged while Angeal nodded his head in thanks before the two left. Outside he heard Genesis curse when he slipped on the snow and spilled the hot cocoa all over himself. Karma was a bitch, wasn't it Gen? Before Genesis could get back inside to change, Cloud locked and barricaded the door in order to keep him out. This time there would be no failure. He _would_ drink a cup of hot cocoa. Only Sephiroth was inside the house now, so there was no way he'd fail! He was being a _good_ boy. Karma should be on his side today. It was Christmas Eve after all.

So, Cloud got another cup and warmed up some more hot cocoa. All of his movements were tense with frustration at not getting to drink a single drop of hot cocoa. There was only half a bucket of cocoa powder, for Pete's Sake! At this rate he'd run out of the delicious stuff without a single little drop of the delicious warm, _perfect_ liquid. So as the two drinks (he was definitely prepared) were finished warming up in the microwave, Cloud grabbed it out with utmost happiness, even when he heard _the_ Sephiroth's footsteps. Even when, Sephiroth grabbed his own cup to drink the cocoa, because Cloud had his cup of hot cocoa. Cloud would be happy. So as Cloud was just about to drink the warm liquid he reveled in the feeling of triumph. All he needed to do was lift it just one more centimeter up…and it was stolen from him. In a silver flash.

Cloud's eyes widened as he watched Sephiroth gulp down _his_ drink. _His precious! _

Sephiroth drank it like there was only a drop of water in it, and in that one second…the cocoa was gone. Sephiroth had drunk more than a half-gallon of hot cocoa in just a single tiny minute (yes, Cloud gave Sephiroth a huge cup)! It was beyond imagining! It was beyond the limits of any SOLDIER no matter his/her ranking! IT WAS TRAVESTY! No, not travesty, MUTINY! Karma had abandoned him! All the times he escorted cute little old ladies across the street were for not! All the times he filled out _everybody's_ paperwork were for not! It was all useless! Santa practically gave him COAL!

Well, if he was already on the naughty list…why shouldn't he get his revenge? Zack, Angeal, Genesis, and _Sephiroth_ – the biggest offender – were going to pay. Yes, indeed.

* * *

><p>They were all hanging out in the living room before they would go to sleep to allow Santa to get inside the house without trouble. Genesis jokingly (or was he?) kidded that he'd burn Kris Kringle if he dared to give him, the Red General, coal of all things. Zack was bouncing up and down, talking about the new sword he asked Santa to give him, Angeal just wanted to get some new seeds for plants, and Sephiroth…he wanted a mother. Cloud hoped they all got coal. Of course, he was going to get coal as well, but his revenge was coming close.<p>

Cloud got up and went to the kitchen to make four cups of hot cocoa (there wasn't enough for all of them), and strangely there was a grace in his steps as he stepped side to side to get ingredients. He even added an extra ingredient. When it was all done, he carefully laid each cup of hot cocoa in front of everyone except for himself and told them to drink up. They all smiled gratefully – even Sephiroth, the traitor – and drank from their warm, delicious, _rat poisoned_ cup. An extra ingredient never hurt now did it?

They all started coughing and stared at Cloud suspiciously after they drank the cocoa. Zack got an instant nosebleed, Sephiroth and Angeal felt a strange feeling as if they were bleeding inside of themselves, and Genesis noticed his smile wasn't as dazzling as before. His gums were absolutely pale white.

"Cloud, what was in that cocoa?" They cried out confusedly. The symptoms were scaring all of them, even the big bad General.

"Rat poison! That's what you get for stealing my cocoa!" Everybody was in an uproar, Zack tearing up at the thought of being poisoned by his best friend, Genesis screaming out that he hoped Cloud got coal, Angeal turning a pale green much like his plants, and Sephiroth mourned at the fact that he wouldn't get to meet his mother. That was until they realized that the mako in their bodies was curing the effects rather easily. They all looked questioningly at Cloud when they noticed as such. Cloud just replied that he wouldn't actually kill them. Just enough to make them pay for drinking his cocoa. "By the way, expect some blood in your urine for a while." Cloud added.

Everyone completely turned white.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Cloud,<em>

_Thank you for being such a good boy this year! Here I give you a cup that refills itself with hot cocoa whenever you're finished with it. Enjoy, and look forward to more gifts like this next year._

_To Genesis, Sephiroth, Angeal, and Zack,_

_Enjoy the coal. It'll help you fill out your paperwork till next Christmas. This is because you stole many drinks from Cloud and used him to fill out your paperwork when you were lazy._

_-Mr. C_

_P.S. The cup will bite anybody that picks it up that isn't Cloud._

"Riiight." Genesis drawled. As if to prove that the note was absolutely fake; he grabbed the cup out of Cloud's arms. The cup shrieked and bit down on Genesis's finger with sharp razor like teeth, and with a shriek of his own, Genesis dropped the cup. Somehow the cup grew legs and jumped right back into Cloud's arms.

Perhaps Christmas and Karma wasn't out to get him. Nope, it was out to get his friends. And Cloud cuddled with his new cup. The cup purred back to him.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading. This idea has been in my head for a while, and I just had to write this. So think of this as my early Christmas present to fanfiction, and to whoever enjoyed this.<strong>

**BYE!**


End file.
